Sticks and stones may break my bones, but it’s my anger that will kill me. This is what a new study seems to say. Going to bed angry will take years off your life. In addition, anger will age your skin faster too.
Anger management is the new anti-aging anecdote, and better yet, it costs nothing. Recently, the University of Michigan study proves that going to bed angry could reduce mornings left in your lifetime.
The study, led by Earnest Harburg, studied four types of couples:
Wife suppresses her anger, while the husband expressed his
Wife expresses anger and the husband suppresses his
Both spouses expressed anger
Both spouses suppress anger
The spouses who both suppressed anger, died in double the numbers of the couples who constructively communicated the anger before going to bed.
Never go to bed angry. Here are constructive ways to deal with anger before bedtime.
Communicate to Dissolve Anger
Sometimes in an argument, we forget that there are three sides to every story: yours, theirs, and misunderstandings. Exchanging thoughts and feelings will allow both parties to feel better and allow both parties to understand the other’s side of the argument. Sometimes, just knowing that someone is listening is enough to calm some anger.
Disrupting another person can have profound effects. Interruptions create more anger, adding more tension to the original argument. Allow the other person to complete a thought. Remember, a complete thought is a full sentence in a grammar world, but in an argument, everyone deserves a paragraph. This isn’t much to sacrifice for someone you love. In addition, disrupting a conversation will never lead to a mutually agreeable resolution. This is because the person who is disrupting is controlling the argument, not allowing a healthy mutual solution to the problem.
Listen Carefully to the Anger of Another
Sometimes we may think that the same ole argument says the same thing. Not so. If the same argument is repeating, then that means the problem was not previously resolved. Until there is resolution to the same argument, it will quietly lurk in the background for an opportunity to come out again. Sometimes the same ole argument adds an idea, thought, or perspective that wasn’t there before, finally giving us the opportunity to find a solution.
If you repeat what the other person is saying, without sarcasm or mockery, then that shows the other person that you are listening. Sometimes just listening is enough to end or resolve an argument. After listening to another vent, it may make you realize that the argument is not really between the two, but rather a bad day that ends in weathered moods.
If Possible, Find a Solution
Not all problems can be solved before bedtime. Not all arguments are created equal, and not all arguments can end with a resolution right away. Arguments come in different packages and some of them are petty, while others are more complex.
In the event of an argument, remember the adage: How important is this argument going to be in five minutes, ten days, two months, or 100 years?
If it is not going to be important in 100 years, then all the anger it will do is take years off your life.
Go To Bed with a Smile
Try humor before bed or around an argument. If you have to fake a smile, then do it. When you go to bed angry, your frown lines become more prominent over time. Releasing anger before going to bed, will relax those frown muscles along with the rest of your body for a good night’s sleep.
Now, all you have to do is make sure you don’t wake up on the wrong side of the bed-and that’s a whole new topic.
